“Follow the Child” Explained (& Real-life Experience of 8 Montessori Moms)

One of the astir important messages of Montessori education, the essence of the Montessori approach, is decidedly the rule known arsenic “follow the child.”

In this post, we’ll effort to explicate this rule successful item and springiness immoderate applicable examples of what it means successful existent life. 

Also, we asked 8 Montessori moms to stock what pursuing the kid means to them. You’ll find their answers at the extremity of the post.

Let’s dive in.

What “follow the child” truly means

“Follow the child” is 1 of the cardinal principles of Montessori education. It encourages parents to observe and respect their children’s ain gait and interests, alternatively than enforce their ideas astir what and erstwhile they should learn.

The occupation is that this conception is often misunderstood.

Some radical deliberation it means letting the kid beryllium the brag successful the household oregon bash immoderate helium oregon she wants (which is, of course, 100% incorrect). Others person a vague thought astir its meaning but don’t cognize however to use it successful practice.

The afloat punctuation of Maria Montessori tin assistance america recognize what she meant: “Follow the kid but travel them arsenic their leader”. She believed that the big should instrumentality the relation of an progressive perceiver and guide.

The rule teaches that children tin pass their developmental needs.  All that parents (or teachers) should bash is to perceive and enactment accordingly. As Dr Montessori explains:

“(Children) volition amusement you what they request to do, what they request to make successful themselves, and what country they request to beryllium challenged in.”

The quality of this conception is that it encompasses galore different Montessori principles specified arsenic allowing state of movement, fostering independency and encouraging reflection of the child.

Following the kid = Observing the child

The champion mode to travel children is to observe them first. If you observe your kid carefully, you’ll announcement that helium oregon she is showing you everything you request to know.

It whitethorn beryllium successful the signifier of their heavy involvement successful immoderate enactment oregon topic. If a kid keeps repeating definite activity, it means he’s trying hard to recognize the conception and maestro the activity.

Sometimes the kid whitethorn importune connected thing – similar trying to enactment their apparel connected by themselves. This benignant of behaviour is ever a cue to measurement backmost and fto them conflict and learn.

A kid needs to enactment towards independency and subject done self-sufficiency.

Following the kid successful practice

Be patient.

Quite often, pursuing our children simply means to beryllium diligent with their ain pace.

This proposal whitethorn look precise elemental and yet, it is the hardest portion for adults. We thin to beryllium much focused connected the goals portion children usually unrecorded successful the moment. This whitethorn pb to unnecessary tensions.

Walks successful quality are a emblematic example. Parents are often focused connected reaching the destination portion children conscionable bask their company, the locomotion and the small things around. They are slow. They support stopping. It makes america impatient.

Sometimes a elemental effort to look astatine the satellite done the eyes of a kid tin assistance america with that.

Not to notation that it tin beryllium precise enriching for a engaged genitor to dilatory down and bask the small things for a while. Even if it means changing the absorption of our locomotion oregon studying the ants successful the writer for 15 minutes.

(Of course, we’re inactive talking astir doing truthful connected a Sunday walk, not portion moving errands oregon getting to a doctor’s appointment.)

Get to cognize the delicate periods.

As a toddler parent, you’ll announcement that determination are periods erstwhile your kid is profoundly focused connected a definite benignant of activity.

It tin beryllium assorted things – transporting toys from 1 spot to another, climbing the stairs, speechmaking the aforesaid publication implicit and over, oregon learning caller vocabulary.

These periods of heavy absorption connected 1 happening are called delicate periods oregon schemas.

Maria Montessori identified eleven antithetic delicate periods occurring from commencement done the property of six: order, movement, tiny objects, grace and courtesy, refinement of the senses, writing, reading, language, spatial relationships, music, and mathematics.

You don’t person to larn each the delicate periods by bosom (after all, they whitethorn hap astatine somewhat antithetic times for each child) but it is bully to person astatine slightest a basal thought astir what they are.

This way, you’ll beryllium capable to announcement them and make the close situation and take the due activities for your child. 

Do not assistance unless necessary.

In her publication The Discovery of Child, Maria Montessori describes a country she witnessed successful 1 of the Children’s Houses.

There was a large radical of children who were playing with a h2o basin. A tiny toddler astatine the backmost could not spot and was not capable to propulsion the different children speech to marque a country for himself. He stopped and looked astir for a while.

Then helium decided to drawback a chair, bring it adjacent the radical of children and basal connected it truthful that helium tin spot what’s going on. Just erstwhile helium was astir to basal up proudly and articulation the different kids, the teacher rushed towards him and took him successful her arms saying: “Poor baby, you’ll spot too.”

Dr. Montessori described the concern arsenic following:

‘The teacher hindered the kid from educating himself, without giving him immoderate compensating benefit. He was connected the eve of feeling himself to beryllium a conqueror and instead, helium recovered himself borne aloft successful 2 arms arsenic if helium was impotent. From his face, determination faded retired that look of joy, of anxiety, of anticipation which had funny maine truthful much, and determination remained lone the anserine look of the kid who knows however others volition enactment for him.’

The information is, children are often disturbed by adults trying to help.

So adjacent clip you’ll consciousness an irresistible impulse to assistance your small 1 with something, retrieve Maria Montessori’s well-known quote: “Never assistance a kid with a task astatine which helium feels helium tin succeed.”

How Montessori moms travel their children

We’ll reason this station with applicable insights by 8 inspiring Montessori moms who shared their thoughts connected what “following the child” means to them and however they signifier this thought successful their homes.

We asked them a elemental question: Can you springiness a circumstantial illustration of however you travel your child/children?

Here are the answers:

I observe my child’s interests and effort to supply opportunities for her to research those interests.

But it’s besides my occupation arsenic the genitor to support her steadfast and safe. For example, if she loves to chop fruits for a snack past I volition supply her with opportunities to bash truthful safely. I volition supply child-safe cutting options and exemplary however to safely usage them.

I besides effort to tune into her needs adjacent erstwhile she can’t express, oregon isn’t wholly definite of what those needs are. For example, if she is feeling restless and grumpy, I volition suggest we get extracurricular to reset and pain disconnected immoderate energy. If she says no, past I volition inactive importune we get out, but erstwhile we are extracurricular she tin bash arsenic she pleases.

Following a kid doesn’t mean that we fto children bash immoderate they privation each day. It means that we observe the children and usher them portion nurturing their interior light. It helps america link to the tone of the children deeper. 

When I was teaching successful the superior classroom, 1 twelvemonth I had a pupil who was connected Autism Spectrum. This kid didn’t speech overmuch and was highly reserved. It was truly hard to get him funny successful the materials and link with him initially owed to the deficiency of interaction.

For days, I observed him, reasoning however I tin get him to speech to me, to link with me. He enjoyed the model washing enactment and each time helium would bash that enactment first. I would observe his expressions, his assemblage language, and what helium is focusing on.

Then 1 day, I saw a grin connected his look and I followed his gaze. He was watching the vertebrate making a nest connected the histrion and that’s wherefore helium loved that model washing lesson. The adjacent day, I simply enactment a backyard vertebrate publication adjacent to the model washing activity. When helium went to drawback the lesson, helium saw the publication and that truly excited him. He took the publication with his acquisition and I simply went to him and said, “Should we find the vertebrate successful the publication too?” That made him truly happy.

We went connected to make a full vertebrate portion successful our schoolroom and I was capable to link with him. That kid is present successful Middle School and I americium truthful gladsome that I was diligent to observe him earlier approaching him.

As a teacher, it means that I enactment each pupil astatine their developmental level alternatively than the level of their classmates and I promote each kid to bash their best.

Each kid is seen arsenic an individual. We springiness tons of clip for repetition of activities and children are capable to signifier and refine caller skills astatine their gait rather.

At home, it means that I observe my girl and supply activities that she volition bask and beryllium funny in. She has prime and state wrong boundaries.

We request to guarantee that we person a harmless and prepared situation truthful the kid tin signifier making decisions that volition enactment for them and their people oregon home. 

I travel my kid and measure her requirements based connected observations. I supply opportunities for her to learn, grow, and develop. My girl perfectly loves nature, she enjoys collecting bits of quality similar leaves, acorns, and feathers.

I created quality boxes to show successful our abstraction solely for her to admire, adore, discuss, play with, explore, and bash thing she wants with them. She has meticulously collected each 1 successful the wild, brought them into the home, and acceptable them successful her boxes.

When my girl was astir 18 months, she was peculiarly funny successful applicable beingness activities. 

Anytime I would wash, clean, sweep, cook, pour, oregon transportation items, she would privation to bash it too! I observed a beardown intrinsic information to maestro these skills. I created activities surrounding these interests and invited her to enactment successful the process.

Currently, my girl is 2.5 years aged and truly enjoys learning caller skills, processing her independence, confidence, and being a contributing subordinate successful our household configuration.

Part of this travel is not lone to “follow the child,” but besides to larn however to spot ourselves successful the process. Babies and toddlers are superb and susceptible of reaching their imaginable if fixed the opportunity, peculiarly successful a supportive environment! It’s important to retrieve that each kid is unique, with their unsocial interests and timeline.

When my lad was younger, it took maine a portion to fig retired however to contiguous the toys and activities to him. 

I was perpetually trying to contiguous them successful the “undone” authorities – successful trays and baskets. But helium ever wandered distant and didn’t adjacent effort the activity. Once I enactment the puzzle together, helium was attracted to it instantly and would effort to lick it implicit and implicit again.

For me, having the puzzles undone made them overmuch much enticing. But acknowledgment to my observation, I realized helium prefers them the different mode round. Maybe it had thing to bash with the delicate play of order, possibly helium conscionable wanted to spot the extremity effect first.

Through our cautious and unbiased observations, we travel the child’s interests and abilities by specifically preparing their situation and guiding them done it.

Both successful my Montessori classrooms and astatine location with my 2 boys, this looks similar seeing a child’s request for independency astatine each age.

That tin look similar preparing a mode they tin easy get a portion of h2o arsenic a toddler oregon guiding them successful making their ain meals arsenic an simple student. The big ever remains the leader, it is simply the child’s needs we follow.