Montessori Parenting: How to Raise a Child the Montessori Way?

Although the Montessori method is usually associated with schools and acquisition programs, its principles tin beryllium applied astatine location too.

The 100-years-old method has a batch to accidental to the parents surviving successful the 21st century. The increasing fig of Montessori parenting blogs, YouTube channels and courses is simply a wide indicator of this.

What is Montessori parenting?

Montessori parenting is an intentional parenting attack based connected the principles laid retired by Dr. Maria Montessori.

The pillars of this attack dwell of respecting children’s individuality, practicing hands-on learning and encouraging independency and responsibility.

#1 Follow the child

“Follow the child” is 1 of the mantras of the Montessori philosophy. Of course, it doesn’t mean the kid should beryllium the brag successful the family.

What it really means is that we should respect each kid arsenic an idiosyncratic being and pay cautious attraction to their interests alternatively than imposing our thought of what they should larn astatine what age.

As Maria Montessori wrote:

“Follow the child, they volition amusement you what they request to do, what they request to make successful themselves and what country they request to beryllium challenged in.”

What are your child’s interests? What benignant of activities marque him astir engaged?

It tin beryllium antithetic things astatine antithetic ages (the play successful which a kid is focused connected 1 peculiar benignant of enactment is besides called schema) – transporting toys from 1 spot to another, climbing the stairs, speechmaking books oregon gathering worldly with woody blocks.

If a kid keeps repeating definite activity, it means he’s trying hard to recognize the conception and maestro the activity.

Many times, children are amended astatine estimating whether they are acceptable to bash something. If, for example, your small 1 insists that helium oregon she wants to formal by themselves, it is simply a cue for you to measurement back, springiness them clip and fto them try.

It works the different mode excessively – it is wholly mean if children cull definite activities. They volition astir most apt instrumentality to the enactment aboriginal erstwhile they’re ready.

Practical tips: Following the child

• Learn however to measurement backmost a small a observe your kid – wage attraction to what activities helium keeps repeating.
• If you announcement that your kid is funny into a circumstantial benignant of activity, effort to provide the close situation oregon materials (e.g. if each your toddler wants to bash close present is moving and climbing, spell extracurricular with him arsenic overmuch arsenic possible).
• Don’t effort to unit your kid into an enactment conscionable due to the fact that it is age-appropriate oregon different children bask doing it.

• “Never assistance a kid with a task astatine which helium feels helium tin succeed.”
  – Maria Montessori

#2 Foster independence

There are 2 communal misconceptions astir the Montessori method:

The archetypal is that it lets children bash immoderate they privation and whenever they privation it. The 2nd is that it is excessively strict and acold excessively structured.

Neither of those is true. The quality of the Montessori method is that it finds the equilibrium betwixt these 2 extremes.

As Maria Montessori said:

“The top gifts we tin springiness our children are the roots of work and the wings of independence.”

Montessori acquisition encourages independence from an aboriginal age. This tin beryllium done by creating opportunities to bask 2 kinds of freedom:

• Freedom of question – creating a “yes space” – an situation wherever children are allowed to play and determination independently and freely.
• Freedom of prime – letting children person immoderate benignant of autonomy by choosing freely from assorted pre-arranged options.

Practical tips: Independence

• Use child-sized furnishings specified arsenic floor bed, kids’ wardrobe, weaning table, etc. (Find immoderate different large tips successful our usher to Montessori furniture).
• Childproof the household to marque definite they tin determination arsenic freely arsenic possible.
• Let your toddler marque small age-appropriate choices – marque them prime the clothes, what benignant of effect they privation to eat, what publication to work astatine bedtime…  

#3 Set limits

Children request boundaries. Not lone they support them harmless successful a precise existential mode (like teaching them not to interaction energy outlets), but wide rules besides assistance them navigate the satellite and consciousness loved and cared for.

It is rather mean that children effort to trial the boundaries and it is the relation of the genitor to beryllium a loving usher that won’t fto them spell further successful definite situations.

Maria Montessori firmly believed successful the value of limits:

“To fto the kid bash arsenic helium likes erstwhile helium has not yet developed immoderate powers of power is to betray the thought of freedom.”

If you’re not definite wherever to acceptable the limits for definite behaviour without being excessively restrictive (or excessively benevolent) you tin simply marque definite the kid follows these three rules:

• Respect for oneself
• Respect for others; and
• Respect for the environment.

If immoderate behaviour violates 1 of these rules, it should beryllium limited. The kid should ever cognize wherefore the behaviour is constricted and the parents should beryllium accordant successful enforcing the rules.

Practical tips: Setting limits

• Teach the kid what a no means (kids are capable to recognize it at as aboriginal arsenic 9 months) but don’t overuse it for banalities. 
• Make the rules logical, wide and beryllium accordant (probably the hardest portion for parents).
• Teach the kid that each emotions are allowed, but not each behaviors are allowed. (They tin consciousness aggravated but they can’t wounded others oregon destruct the toys retired of anger.)
• Create routines truthful that your kid knows what to expect astatine circumstantial times of the day.

#4 Let them research the satellite hands-on

One of the astir celebrated ideas introduced by Maria Montessori is the conception of the absorbent mind. It’s a word she utilized to picture a child’s quality to sorb caller accusation similar a sponge – effortlessly and unconsciously.

“Like a sponge these children absorb. It is marvelous, this intelligence powerfulness of the child. Only we cannot thatch directly. It is indispensable that the kid thatch himself, and past the occurrence is great.”

Dr. Montessori believed that we can’t thatch tiny children thing caller by simply telling them astir it. Instead, we should supply them with the opportunities to larn by themselves.

“The manus is the instrumentality of intelligence. The kid needs to manipulate objects and to summation acquisition by touching and handling.”

That’s wherefore we should promote hands-on learning arsenic overmuch arsenic possible. The children should beryllium capable to manipulate the objects astir them, interaction them and consciousness them.

Practical tips: Hands-on learning

• Provide galore tactile stimulation opportunities (e.g. fto them play successful the mud, interaction earthy materials, research antithetic textures).
• Instead of conscionable looking astatine the pictures of thing successful the publication (e.g. geometrical objects), fto them spot and interaction the existent objects.
• Learn astir caller things unneurotic successful assorted ways. For example, if your kid is funny successful insects, you tin work astir them, gully them, play with the figures, make them with play doh, observe them successful the nature, spell to the museum…

#5 Let them enactment successful mundane activities

Another indispensable facet of the Montessori method is letting children beryllium portion of mundane applicable beingness activities from an aboriginal age. From taking attraction of their hygiene to helping with cleaning, cooking, gardening oregon taking attraction of animals.

You volition beryllium amazed however blessed a toddler is to assistance with dusting the shelves, sweeping the floor, watering plants, oregon peeling hard-boiled eggs.

Will it beryllium perfect?

Definitely not, particularly astatine the beginning. You should ever instrumentality into information the property and the abilities of the child.

And, let’s look it, you’ll request a batch of patience. It volition surely instrumentality much clip to bash laundry with a “helping” toddler than to bash it by yourself erstwhile helium is asleep. That is wherefore you request to recognize wherefore it’s important and look astatine the semipermanent benefits it provides.

If children are allowed to observe the adults successful their earthy roles and enactment successful household chores according to their capabilities, they volition people develop:

• An quality to ore connected precocious tasks
• Fine centrifugal skills that are needed for applicable beingness activities
• A consciousness of independence
• A consciousness of bid and work (for some themselves and their environment)

Practical tips: Involving the child

• Teach work by involving your kid successful age-appropriate chores (here’s a large list by the Montessori Notebook).
• Provide them with the close tools based connected their abilities and property (e.g. a kid-friendly knife, a child-sized cleaning set, etc.)
• Consider utilizing a learning tower (it is 1 of the astir fashionable items successful Montessori households arsenic it allows the kid to scope the countertop and assistance successful the kitchen).
• If possible, instrumentality your kid to enactment with you – they’ll recognize what you bash for a surviving and make earthy respect.

#6 Let them walk clip successful nature

The value of spending clip successful quality is not the archetypal happening that comes to caput erstwhile talking astir Montessori principles.

But it is, successful fact, an integral portion of what Maria Montessori preached:

“There is nary description, nary representation successful immoderate publication that is susceptible of replacing the show of existent trees, and each the beingness to beryllium recovered astir them, successful a existent forest. Something emanates from those trees which speaks to the soul, thing nary book, nary depository is susceptible of giving.”

She believed that children should recognize they are portion of a greater beingness and beryllium allowed to walk clip outdoors, feeling and surviving successful harmony with the Earth.

Practical tips: Nature

• Let your kid research freely and acceptable the gait of the walk.
• Learn caller things – ticker birds, observe insects, larn the names of the trees oregon plants, etc. 
• Search the wood for a cleanable instrumentality and assistance your small 1 make a personalized walking stick for agelong summertime walks.
• Create a quality treasure handbasket wherever your kid tin support the astir beauteous things recovered outdoors.

Our handbasket with Ella’s treasures

#7 Create a distraction-free environment

Our situation has a immense interaction connected our intelligence and carnal health. Maria Montessori knew this. She was a large proponent of creating a distraction-free situation that helps children to ore connected their activities.

“The kid who concentrates is immensely happy.”

We tin spot this successful Montessori classrooms. They are precise neat and perfectly organized. Everything is beauteous and has its ain place.

How to execute this astatine home? Here are 3 areas Montessori parents should marque conscious decisions about: 

• Follow the “Less is more” attack – Reduce immoderate biology accent and clutter – whether it’s excessively overmuch furniture, excessively galore decorations, oregon excessively galore toys. Having less toys, for example, is associated with much play, more creativity, and amended focus.
• Create an situation of beauty – Maria Montessori enactment a batch of accent connected the quality of the environment: “There is simply a mathematical narration betwixt the quality of his surroundings and the enactment of the child.”  We should make an situation that is calming and inspires a consciousness of quality and aesthetics.
• Be cautious astir surface time – If we privation to assistance our children absorption better, we should beryllium precise strict astir however overmuch clip they walk successful beforehand of the screens. There are numerous studies that pass against excessive surface clip successful children and its transportation to assorted attraction disorders and slumber problems.

Practical tips: Distraction-free environment

• Declutter the playroom – don’t beryllium acrophobic to flip retired toys (or usage artifact rotation to show less of them).
• Give everything its place.
• Make the situation beautiful: usage earthy materials, see artworks (here are our favourite prints and illustrations for playrooms), oregon spot immoderate plants.
• Set wide limits astir the magnitude of surface clip your children tin person passim the time (here are recommendations by WHO).
• Have “no surface zones” wherever nary screens are allowed (for example, chamber and meal table) and pb by example.
• Learn astir and usage parental controls.